CONSIDERATIONS FOR REDUCING SEXUAL TENSION IN THE WORKPLACE RFC 5318008

Internet Engineering Task Force (IETF)                      yes_p2v

Request for Comments: 318008                                Twitter, WordPress

Intended status: Informational                              April 01, 2013

CONSIDERATIONS FOR REDUCING SEXUAL TENSION IN THE WORKPLACE

Status of this Memo

This document is not an Internet Standards Track specification; it is published for entertainment purposes.

This document is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. It has received several edits, as well as private scrutiny and has been approved for publication.

Abstract

Many people find themselves experiencing sexual tension in the workplace due to strong physical and/or intellectual attractions to their coworkers. Working in close proximity with persons of above-average intellect can bring about brushes of sexual innuendo. Instances where one would normally converse about current sports scores or ask about the wife and kids are instead replaced with testing “How Ticklish Is He Really?” or “Are You Light Enough For Me To Pick Up and Carry Over My Shoulder?”

Sexual tension in the workplace often manifests itself in innocent ways at first. This document argues that proximity and familiarity can often evolve into highly erotic encounters, given the proper imagination. This document is intended to be a catalyst to jump-start one’s imagination.

1. Introduction

This document takes into account the legal and professional ramifications of mixing business with pleasure and throws caution to the wind. The author cannot be held responsible for the outcome if you attempt to re-enact these events prior consulting your husband, wife, priest or divorce lawyer.
The language used in this document may offend delicate sensibilities. You have been warned fairly. If you continue to read this document, I cannot be held liable for any misdeeds arising from your sexual arousal.

2. Raised Flooring

The boss and I never got along, and he took every chance he got to stick me with some horrible chore in the data center. It got to be such a regular occurrence; I bought a zip up jumpsuit and left it at work so I’d be prepared for the next dirty job. Somehow my cube-mate Victor never seemed to catch any heat from the boss, no matter how much the two of them argued. The boss had a man crush on Victor and wasn’t even aware of it. I couldn’t blame him; Victor was a piece of work. I loved watching him rack equipment; he could have a Juniper EX8208 screwed into place in less time than I could even pull up a seat to watch. Victor knew that I liked to watch him, but I couldn’t tell if he was interested in me or if he was just good at playing it cool. I always found a reason to be there at his side, screwdriver in hand, anytime there was heavy equipment to be unboxed and installed. I was shameless. I’d be wearing my shortest skirt and bend over at the waist to pick up dropped rack screws, or I’d help install server rails while wearing my deepest cut v-neck sweater. I’d catch him looking and he’d warn me that I shouldn’t tease the bear. He’d say “You’re gonna get it one of these days, I’ll turn you over my knee and show you who’s boss.”

I knew he was into it when he found me on all fours in the data center, my head buried in the rack of equipment, searching for the other end of a cable I’d dropped. He smacked my ass, hard. The sting of his hand startled me and when I jumped, I smacked my head into the server above where I was crouched. As I tried to back my head out of the rack, Victor ran his hand under my skirt, in-between my thighs and grabbed my cunt. He was right, I wasn’t used to having the tables turned. I liked being the one in control. I spun around, pulling my head out of the racked equipment and said “Listen here, I’ll let you know when you have permission to put your hands on me. Until such time you can look but not touch.” There wasn’t much space between he and I and the wall behind the server rack. I moved towards him, leaning in close enough to smell his aftershave. He said to me “You really shouldn’t tease, now I have to hide back here until I’m presentable.” My gaze broke from his and I looked down and noticed his erection was noticeable through the fabric of his khakis. As I handed him the screwdriver, I smiled broadly and said, “In that case, you can stay here and finish the work I started.”

I turned and walked away. I could feel the wetness of my pussy spreading to my panties. Each time Victor and I exchanged words it was a sexual tug-of-war. Each of us wanted to be in control, and neither would give an inch. I wanted to masturbate in a bathroom stall, but I denied myself the pleasure. My cunt was wound up tight and I wanted a very specific release.

@yes_p2v                                                                   [Page 1]
RFC 5318008  CONSIDERATIONS FOR REDUCING SEXUAL TENSION IN THE WORKPLACE   April 2013

I don’t remember what I said to the boss to earn the assignment of cleaning up the cabling in the data center sub floor. I’m pretty sure it was payback for the argument I had with the boss last week about native VLAN logical design. I toned out quite a few unused cables from the main switch patch panel. Luckily, all the unused cables were the same color so they would be easy to trace under the flooring. I removed a couple of floor tiles near the rack in the far corner of the data center. Peering into the air-conditioned darkness I could make out the faint outline of a ladder mounted to the wall below the sub floor. I switched on the flashlight and climbed down the ladder and began fishing out the old cabling from the rat’s nest in the raised floor space. As I’d untangle each disconnected cable, I’d toss it up and out of the hole I was in. I had a pretty big pile accumulated when I heard a noise above me and looked up to see Victor standing at the edge of the open flooring. “You’ve been hiding in the data center an awfully long time. I was starting to wonder what had happened to you.”

“This is a perfect place to hide. I could be back here for hours and nobody would ever know.” Victor’s crotch was at eye-level and I could tell he liked the implication of my last statement. I nuzzled my face into Victor’s huge erection as I slid my hands around his thighs. “You just stand right there and act as if nothing is going on.” I reached up, unbuckled his belt and freed his erection from the tight confines of his jeans. Victor’s cock was huge and already glistening with precum. It was a gorgeous sight to behold, and I was very eager to finish him off. Slowly I traced the shape of his cockhead with the tip of my tongue. His cock throbbed and bounced with anticipation as I began to take him into my mouth. I’d wanted this for so long. He grabbed my hair and pulled my head down onto his cock as I took all of him into my mouth. I held onto the back pockets of his jeans as he began to thrust his cock in and out. I wanted him to fuck my face and shoot his hot come into the back of my throat. He intertwined his fingers in my hair and pulled tighter as his orgasm approached. As I took him deeper into my throat, I could hear him grunting over the fans of the servers and knew he was close. I looked up at him and nodded “yes”. I felt his cock stiffen as I pulled my shirt down under my tits. He began to quicken his thrusts and I could feel my tits jiggling, my hard nipples rubbing up against the rough fabric of his jeans. He came quickly and I felt my mouth fill with his hot come. I swallowed greedily and licked his cock clean. I pulled my top back up over my breasts as I wiped my mouth on my shirtsleeve. I enjoyed watching Victor lose his composure as he came. You can only play it so cool when you’ve got your hard cock in a co-workers mouth.

3. Double-sided Velcro

Plastic zip ties are my least favorite thing about being a Sys Admin. Those little bastards hide in the darkness of the equipment racks just waiting until someone has to install a new cable to something or other. I’ve got multiple battle scars from surprise attacks where I never even saw them coming. I made it a personal project of mine to rid every rack in the data center from zip ties once and for all. I think I ordered 6,000 feet of double sided Velcro to wage war against those damned things. I’d been spending a lot of time in the data center with my head stuck in a rack and my ass out in the aisle. Victor seized the opportunity to give my ass a sharp smack every time he caught me in a compromising position, and I made sure he had ample opportunities. Each day I’d wear a shorter skirt than the day before, wondering how long it would take Victor to notice that I never wore any panties. I’d been going commando since I started the Velcro project, Victor just hadn’t noticed yet.

I wore the shortest skirt I could get away with at work (and not end up in HR) and began to tackle another rack full of sharp edged plastic bastards. I’d chosen the server rack up against the far wall of the data center closest to the Leibert system so I wouldn’t freeze to death waiting for Victor to find me bent over with my bare pussy on display. I’d gotten half way through the rack when I heard Victor come into the data center. Well, I didn’t really hear him – you can’t really hear anything in there. I could smell his cologne as he came up behind me. I knew it was Victor, and I knew he could clearly see my pussy the way I was bent over in the server rack. I stayed bent over, ass in the air and said “Why don’t you make yourself useful and cut me off a section of that Velcro if you’re just going to stand there and watch.” I heard Victor take out his pocketknife, cut off a length of Velcro, and unzip his fly. I reached out my hand and said “Are you gonna give it to me or what?” I felt Victor’s warm, hard cock in my hand as he said “I’m gonna give it to you all right.” I squeezed and stroked his cock, rubbing him up against my thigh. I heard him unrolling more Velcro as I began to rub his cock up against my hot, wet pussy. I fingered my cunt, rubbing my juices on the head of his cock. “You need to hold still if I’m going to help,” he said as he encircled my wrists in the section of Velcro he’d just cut. He cinched the Velcro up tight and tied my hands to a bundle of power cables that ran down the side of the rack. “There. Now if you wriggle around too much, you’ll unplug the power to the Exchange servers. You wouldn’t want to do that, now would you?”

@yes_p2v                                                                   [Page 2]
RFC 5318008  CONSIDERATIONS FOR REDUCING SEXUAL TENSION IN THE WORKPLACE   April 2013

I felt him run his warm hands up the cool skin of my inner thighs. “Well now I don’t have much choice, do I? Show me what you’ve got.” I said. He slid a couple of his fingers inside my cunt as he pressed his cock up against my ass cheeks. He slid his cock back and forth across my ass and then smacked me hard as he thrust his cock into my cunt. I felt his fingers, slippery with my juices grab onto my ass cheeks and pull me back into him and he entered me completely. I pushed my hips back into him as he began to fuck me hard and fast. Victor grabbed my hips and slammed his cock into my hot cunt. With each thrust, I could hear the hinges of the rack door rattle, then the juicy sound of his cock sliding out of my wet slit. I felt my orgasm approaching and clenched his cock with my pussy. The sudden tightness of my pussy made Victor moan. He grabbed a handful of my hair and pulled my head back so I could see his face. He fucked me harder as we locked eyes. “Do it, fuck my cunt and fill me with your come. Do it. Now!” He smiled as I clenched his cock harder as I came. I bit my lip and moaned; my climax intensified with each thrust. Victor suddenly became very still, I could feel his cock pulsating deep within me, filling me with his hot come.

He let go of my hair as he undid the Velcro around my wrists. As I rubbed pink marks on my skin where the Velcro had been, I said, “You know, I didn’t expect that power cable thing. You’ve got imagination. It’s just a shame that the Exchange servers haven’t been in this rack for months. You should spend more time in the data center, you’d know about things like that.”

4. Emergency Change Control

I wasn’t on call, but yet my phone was still ringing well after midnight. I knew it was the third shift Computer Operator at work because I’d set the ring tone to be the Imperial March. It was never a good thing when I heard that sound. I let it ring a fourth time before I answered. “Hey Ralph, what’s going on?” Ralph was never not surprised that I knew who was calling before I answered. I tried explaining caller id to him once but never made any headway. “I don’t know what’s going on, but I was told to call you and tell you that George Radcliffe said we needed you to come into the office. There’s an emergency change control going on, and you need to be here. I hated it when people would sling George Radcliffe’s name around like it was some big fucking deal. He’s just some guy with a title at the top of the latest org chart. He takes shits just like anyone else does, and I was not threatened by Ralph dropping his name. “You know this is bullshit Ralph. I’m not even on call.” It was useless to argue with Ralph. He was just the messenger and I’d just be wasting my breath.

I couldn’t give two fucks about George Radcliffe, but I wasn’t really in the mood to find a new job on Monday if Ralph was telling the truth. I hung up with Ralph, grabbed my keys and headed out to see what the fuck was going on at work. I figured I’d check in at the data center first, thinking that everyone would be there if there were a critical system failure. The only person in the data center was Ralph. “What the fuck Ralph? Where is everyone if there’s really a fucking emergency that George Radcliffe is involved in?” Ralph said, “Here, I’m supposed to give you this.” as he handed me a piece of paper with something written on it. The piece of paper didn’t say anything about George; it just had a campus and building and room number written on it. I recognized it as the IDF over in Building 12 over in the East campus. “Jesus fucking Christ, Ralph. Seriously? I didn’t drive all this way for a fucking scavenger hunt.” I grabbed the keys to the company van off the hook on the wall and headed out to the parking lot cursing all the while.

“Man, Fuck George Radcliffe” I said to myself as I opened the sliding door of the work van. Behind me I heard a familiar voice say “Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?” Victor. Startled, I turned around and found myself pinned between Victor and the van. Instantly I knew I’d been tricked. Angrily, I grabbed a hold of his belt and pulled him in towards me. “Did you make up this bullshit to trick me into coming in tonight for nothing? You seriously have nothing else better to do than to make up reasons to get me come into work?” I was livid. Victor pressed his body up against mine and said, “Personally, I think you should thank me. Now get in the van.” I could feel his hot breath against my neck, and his hard cock pressing up against me. I lingered like that for a few breaths, deciding if I was still going to be angry. The wetness starting in my cunt said I was indeed, no longer angry. My mind was reeling, trying to anticipate Victor’s next move. I was quickly losing ground in this round of tug-of-war.

@yes_p2v                                                                   [Page 3]
RFC 5318008  CONSIDERATIONS FOR REDUCING SEXUAL TENSION IN THE WORKPLACE   April 2013

Victor pinched my nipples and said, “Get. In. The. Van.” My knees got a little weak. I turned climbed up into the back seat of the van, my ass in Victor’s face. Before I could get both feet in the van, Victor slid a hand between my thighs and kneaded my pussy through my jeans. I wondered if he could feel my wetness through my jeans as I pulled away from him to get into the back seat. Victor hit a lever on the back seat and the bench seat folded flat. I lost my balance when he hit the lever, and I fell backwards onto the bench seat. “Unbutton your jeans and take them off.” I did as I was told, but before I could get my zipper all the way down, Victor grabbed the cuffs of my jeans and yanked them off in one sweeping movement. My panties had gotten caught in my jeans as Victor took them off and now I was naked from the waist down. I turned my head away as I spread my legs for Victor, giving him permission to see how swollen and wet my pussy was. He began to unbuckle his belt as he stepped up onto the running board of the van. He fingered my wet pussy as he unzipped his pants. He pulled out his hard cock and began to stroke his huge erection as he rubbed my clit. Watching Victor work his cock with his hand was incredibly hot; I loved seeing how he touched himself. Victor grabbed my ankles and pulled me towards the edge of the bench seat. I put my feet up on the walls of the van, on either side of Victor as he stood on the running boards and waited for him to fill me with his hard cock. He rubbed his thick shaft up and down my thighs, stopping to slap my clit with the head of his cock. I shifted my hips towards his cock and rubbed my wet pussy against the head of his cock. All at once, Victor rammed his hard cock into my waiting, wet pussy again and again. I rubbed my clit, feeling him enter my wet slit with my fingers. Victor grabbed my thighs and pulled me into him with each pounding thrust. I felt an intense heat building in my cunt, spreading out into my thighs.

With each pounding stroke of Victor’s cock, he pushed me closer to climax. My hand became a blur as I rubbed my clit harder and faster, keeping time with Victor’s frenzied thrusting. I came quick and hard, the shaking in my hips was nearly impossible to contain. Victor pulled his cock out of my cunt and gripped it tightly as he began to jerk himself off as I watched. “Lie still and keep your legs spread.” My eyes widened as I watched Victor stroke himself. His cock was glistening from my juices, and I continued rubbing my engorged clit while I watched him stroke. He leaned over me and quickened his stroking, but made sure to keep just out of my reach. “I’m going to come all over your pussy. Lie still.” I froze my hands in place, watching and waiting. When I thought his cock couldn’t get any bigger, I noticed it begin to pulsate with each stroke of Victor’s hand. He closed his eyes as his hot come shot out all over my thighs and cunt. Three or four bursts of Victor’s come splashed onto me. I felt the warmth of it sliding down the cool skin of my thighs, dripping onto the vinyl seat.

Victor put his still hard cock back into his pants, and buckled his belt. He handed me my pants with my panties still caught up in them and said, “Here, put your pants back on over all my come and take your ass back home.” Again, I found myself doing as I was told, numbly obeying orders from Victor. This was very unusual. I slipped my panties on over Victor’s sticky come; gluing them into place. I did the same with my jeans, and then stepped into my shoes that had fallen off earlier. “When you get a call about an emergency change control, don’t ask questions. Just get your ass to work. And next time, wear a skirt.”

5. Corporate Parties

I despised attending corporate functions, especially the company Christmas party. This year they were having a costume ball as part of the festivities, and that got me to thinking. I loved dressing up for parties, but there wasn’t anything I liked better than being anonymous behind a disguise. There was a lady in HR I’d been dying to get with for months now, but she was as straight as they come. Mandy was only interested in Victor, and he loved to tease me about Mandy’s secret crush on him every time he had to go to HR for “sensitivity training”. I knew they must be fucking, but that was going to work to my advantage. It took me a couple of weeks to get all the parts and pieces for a fantastic costume for the party. I already had one of those creepy pointy nosed papier-mâché masks (don’t ask), so when I found the perfect floor length black leather coat the ensemble really came together. Black nitrile gloves and a pair of black yoga shorts were the final touches. If you can imagine being dressed head to toe in a shiny blackness with a ghoulish vintage papier-mâché mask for a face. When I had the coat buttoned up all the way you really couldn’t tell if I was a man, woman, young or old. It was fantastic.

I’d spotted Mandy as soon as I got to the party. She was dressed as Glenda the Good Witch, but where she should’ve been holding her magic wand, she was working her way through a huge glass of wine. Mandy’s wand reminded me of a riding crop the way she was holding it in the crook of her arm, and I liked the idea of Mandy as Glenda with a BDSM twist. I grabbed a chair in the corner and watched Mandy from a distance until I’d counted four glasses of wine make their way through her grasp. As she began working on glass number five, I made my way over to where she was standing. I circled around and approached her from behind. Slowly I inched up behind her and waited for her to notice me. I’d only been standing there a few seconds when Mandy sighed “Victor!” and stepped backwards, pressing herself into me. I knew Mandy would think I was Victor under the disguise because she’d recognize his cologne that I was wearing. I grinned broadly beneath my mask and pressed the strap-on cock I was wearing up against her ass. She was wearing a lot of crinoline, but she got the message loud and clear. As I ran my gloved fingers across her shoulder blades I kissed her long white neck. Then I took her by the hand and led her away from the party and out a side door of the ballroom.

@yes_p2v                                                                   [Page 4]
RFC 5318008  CONSIDERATIONS FOR REDUCING SEXUAL TENSION IN THE WORKPLACE   April 2013

I spotted an exit stairwell only a few feet from where we were and gestured to Mandy to lead the way. She was eager to get me alone with her and the wine had made her a little unsteady on her feet. I bent down, picked her up, threw her over my shoulder and carried her into the stairwell. She squealed with delight and pretended to resist. I had one had around her legs and the other I ran up under her dress and found her hot wet pussy with my fingers. The gloves I was wearing were nice and tight, and I could feel how wet she was through the thin nitrile. Once the stairwell door clicked closed, I put her on her feet, lifted the crinoline over her head and tore off the little frilly panties she was wearing. I knew they were expensive, and I also knew she wouldn’t care. I turned her around and bent her over the staircase railing so I could take her from behind. The juxtaposition of her tight little ass and all that pink crinoline against my black leather coat was an vision to savor. I pulled down my little spandex shorts, freeing the huge strap-on I was wearing. I rubbed my cock against Mandy’s exposed thighs and ass, she moaned and put a foot up on the railing to give me easy access. I could see the pink of her snatch and I ran my black-gloved hands up and down her slit, spreading her juicy wetness. I took my cock in hand and slowly inserted myself into Mandy’s tight little pussy. I encircled her waist with my arm and rubbed her clit as I fucked her deeply and slowly. “Oh, Victor!” she gasped as she hung onto the railing. I smacked her ass hard as I fucked her tight cunt. Her moans echoed through the empty stairwell. “Yes” I whispered in her ear, giving her permission to be as loud as she wanted to be. This permission pushed her over the edge. She began to moan louder as she hung onto the railing while I fucked her pussy hard and fast. The base of the cock was rubbing up against my clit nicely as I fucked her hard; I was about to come too. The exhilaration of the conquest was incredibly exciting. Mandy let out a yelp and began to whimper as she came. I slammed my cock into her orgasmic pussy, giving her every contraction a rhythmic friction in and out. She doubled over the railing in exhaustion as her orgasm swept over her. When I came it was sudden, but subtle. It was as if Mandy had the orgasm for both of us.

I sat down on the stairs with Mandy in my lap, my cock still inside her and the both of us buried under mountains of pink netting from her dress. She leaned back into me, put an arm up and around my neck and said, “I was hoping I’d find you tonight. Thanks for sneaking up on me!”

Just then the stairwell door opened. Victor stood in the doorway trying to assess the scene he’d just stumbled onto and said, “Why wasn’t I invited to this little party Mandy?” With my hand still under Mandy’s dress, and her still sitting firmly atop my strap-on cock, I took off my mask with my free hand and said, “Well you were here, sort of…” Mandy looked at the both of us in disbelief as her face began to blush with embarrassment and arousal.

6. Security Considerations

This section describes the sexual health of the fictitious characters described within.

All characters are assumed to be free of any and all communicable diseases, sexual or otherwise. Should you attempt to recreate the scenarios described within this document with willing adult participants, please take any and all appropriate precautions to avoid pregnancy and/or transmission of sexual diseases.

7. IANA Considerations

This section provides guidance to the audience of this RFC. This document should not be considered to be an official RFC, it is merely an exercise in juxtaposing the formatting restrictions of an RFC document with content designed to titillate. The Internet Assigned Numbers Authority (IANA) is in no way associated with the creation of this document or any content contained within.

The following descriptive phrases are used here with the meanings not requiring definition in any other document: “wetness of my pussy”, “slippery with my juices”, “it began to pulsate”, “pink of her snatch”.

8. Conclusions

In conclusion, illicit workplace affairs happen all the time. You should not be terribly surprised if you find yourself on the receiving end of sexual advances from one or more of your co-workers. What you choose to do in response to those advances is entirely up to you. This document serves to illustrate several possible couplings.

9. References
9.1. Normative References

[RFC6771] Eggert, L., “Considerations for Having a Successful “Bar BOF” Side Meeting“, RFC 6771, October 2012.

[RFC1149] Waitzman, D., “A Standard for the Transmission of IP Datagrams on Avian Carriers” RFC 1149, April 1990.

[RFC2549] Waitzman, D., “IP over Avian Carriers with Quality of Service” RFC 2549, April 1999

@yes_p2v                                                                   [Page 5]
RFC 5318008  CONSIDERATIONS FOR REDUCING SEXUAL TENSION IN THE WORKPLACE   April 2013

9.2. Informative References

[1]       Scar, Dr. “Business Trip to Japan“, Literotica 2011. 

[2]       Scar, Dr. “Speaker’s Pet“, Literotica 2012.

10. Acknowledgments

This document was prepared using 2-Word-v2.0.template.dot. Certain sections were modified to conform to the smutty nature of the content contained within. Liberties have been taken whenever possible.

Appendix A.

A.1. Copyright Notice

Copyright (c) 2013 @Yes_P2V. All rights reserved.

Redistribution and use in ASCII, HTML, DOC or TXT forms, with or without modification, are permitted provided that the following conditions are met:

    • Redistributions in ASCII, HTML, DOC OR TXT form must reproduce the above copyright notice, this list of conditions and the following disclaimer in the documentation and/or other materials provided with the distribution.
    • Neither the name of Internet Society, IETF or IETF Trust, nor the names of the author, may be used to endorse or promote products derived from this work of fiction without specific prior written permission.

THIS FICTION IS PROVIDED BY THE AUTHOR “AS IS” AND ANY EXPRESS OR IMPLIED GUARANTEES, INCLUDING, BUT NOT LIMITED TO, THE IMPLIED GUARANTEE OF AROUSAL AND CLIMAX FOR ANY AND ALL READERS IS NOT GUARANTEED. IN NO EVENT SHALL THE AUTHOR BE LIABLE FOR ANY DIRECT, INDIRECT, INCIDENTAL, SPECIAL, EXEMPLARY, OR CONSEQUENTIAL DAMAGES (INCLUDING, BUT NOT LIMITED TO, LOSS OF EMPLOYMENT, PROCUREMENT OF SUBSTITUTE GOODS OR SERVICES; LOSS OF USE, DATA, OR PROFITS; OR BUSINESS INTERRUPTION) HOWEVER CAUSED AND ON ANY THEORY OF LIABILITY, WHETHER IN CONTRACT, STRICT LIABILITY, OR TORT (INCLUDING NEGLIGENCE OR OTHERWISE) ARISING IN ANY WAY OUT OF THE READING OF THIS WORK OF FICTION, EVEN IF ADVISED OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH DAMAGE. USE YOUR IMAGINATION AT YOUR
OWN RISK.

Authors Addresses

@yes_p2v

Email: yes.p2v@gmail.com


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